Emotions, the Corporate, Society and Spirituality

May 20, 2015

My ex-father-in-law complained to my dad that I was too emotional. Clearly that is not a good quality in a daughter-in-law.

Of course the MNC corporates aren’t much fond of emotional responses to aggravation. While some of them want you to be passionate about work.

The gItA also teaches dispassion.

Where does a friendly, emotional, intelligent person belong?

Away from people who are in their life by any kind of compulsion. Because of birth, marriage or work.

Either alone or with people who seek them out.

Of the people who seek them out are two kinds. Nice and not so nice.
Nice people have some emotion, friendship and genuine feeling. The others seek you out – why? No idea why they would want to connect.

So “either alone or with good/like-minded people who seek them out”.

I am not a “corporate man”, “a social man”, “a saintly man”  or even “a family man”.

I’m happy alone, but I’m not a loner.

I guess some minimal relationship with other humans is necessary, but it’s safe to be cautious.

A pure manas and a contaminated buddhi.

May 25, 2015

The manas has become purified through sAdhana. I weep for the problems of others.

The manas is in contact with the world through senses.

Though I know that people lie, out of delusion or vested interests I still believe the spoken word. The spoken word of others fills my buddhi, the part of my mind that is a storehouse of all learned things. The spoken words of others are conflicting. The spoken word of others is misleading. The spoken words of the past and present fill my mind. Somewhere in these words is a word worth heeding. Life is too short to try everything the others urge/compel you to try.

This manas has long been dominated by buddhi. And it has long been rebellious.

The manas is in final control of the karmEndriyAs. It is the manas which will finally prevail in all critical junctures. The buddhi prevails in the short term.

It is honesty and truth that will cleanse the manas and buddhi. It is love, compassion and forgiveness that will cleanse the manas and buddhi.

Trust pollutes the buddhi by accepting unverified statements as truth.

The great pretence.

Corporate does it’s best to pretend that it isn’t the brahman.

Everyone dresses differently, behaves differently and so on. But there is nothing other than the brahman. Corporate is brahman too. sarvam khalvidam brahma.

People are emotional. By some common understanding, they all decide to hide all that is best in them and work together as if they were soul-less and heart-less and mind-less and to treat each other that way. They are just pretending. They are also loving, sensitive and generous. And genuine.

Hmmm.

My time here was also one of self-discovery. I found that I have high expectations of others and low threshold of pain. My intensity of suffering is greater than that of others for the same/lesser problems.

Blinded by your truth.

People have their experiences. From which they conclude a truth. Their very experiences are influenced by their circumstances, prejudices and attitudes. Their conclusions are similarly limited.

The more rigid they become, the more they hold their personal truth as the absolute and only truth. And the more it turns into their prejudice. The more they are blinded by it. Not taking in new information.

When we arrive at a ‘truth’,  it is good to realise that it’s a limiting case applicable over a small range. We may have grown beyond the truths of some others and may not understand at all what yet others are talking about.

It is good to preface statements internally with, what I/they have figured out so far.

Darter or Snakebird at NCBS pond (Anhinga melanogaster)

I saw this bird for the first time in my life yesterday at the NCBS pond.

It sticks its head out of the water like a snake with it’s body below the water while it swims.

The link below says its’s a near threatened bird now thanks to loss of habitat etc.

There is an Anhinga in Trinidad and Tobago too, and I am likely to have seen it in my teens. But I can only remember the scarlet ibis.

The snake bird looks a lot like a little cormorant.

http://www.arkive.org/oriental-darter/anhinga-melanogaster/

This was an exciting thing that happened yesterday in my life.

Not the events, the learnings

June 9, 2015

When we tell the stories of our lives we speak of events that have happened, places we have been to, feelings we have experienced, things we have seen.

Do we notice how we have changed and grown? Wouldn’t it be nice to tell a story which speaks of the resilience we gain from failure, the strength from hardship, the learning from the loss of our illusions, the peace and joy from beauty and love?

Long before marketing made us feel bad about ourselves…

June 18, 2015

It is now well known  that marketing tells us that what we are is “not what we should be” and that buying products will make us better people, more attractive, wealthy, strong and altogether  more desirable. Marketing tells us to feel bad about being dark, short, fat etc.

Bangalore had no T.V.  when we were growing up, so did we feel fine about ourselves?

In our circles, we were rather ashamed of having more than our neighbors and many of my friends were always trying to dress down and look as simple and unassuming  as possible. Dressing  up was vain. I can remember  my sister  not wanting to be dropped  to school by our old second hand car even if she was late, not because it was old but because not all our friends at school had cars.

People said everything they could to elevate  others and down play  themselves. It was another time.

Yet I felt my hair was not thick and long and that my walk was funny, my eyes were weak and that I was shorter and plumper than I should have been.

Even today I feel disappointed  that my mirror shows that I do not look traditional. I really can’t  have long thick hair, cutting it is not only practical, it’s  The only option. Stitched jeans are not only more convenient  than unstitched sarees, it’s also the only way to keep your keys and purse safe. So I looking the mirror and feel sad that I don’t  have that awesome  grandmotherly look that my granny had at this age.

It is not advertising  and marketing that have made me disappointed with myself, but the critical peers and loved role models of my childhood.

There is always someone we want to impress and someone we want to be like. Advertising  merely  takes advantage of this desire we have and pretends that some products can help us be other than what we are and what makes sense in the context  of our life.

The game therefore  is to learn to accept ourselves. Perhaps I am shorter and plumper than my peers, perhaps I have achieved  less than them. Perhaps they are more noble and exalted than me.

That’s  okay. The universe existed before this body-mind-self combo came into being and will continue  to do so long after. This is just  my chance in the sun. To see, to learn, to be!

If I am unequal to my social peers, maybe I can find my intellectual and emotional peers around whom it is easy to accept myself.

And when I look in the mirror I am not going to see either Miss World or my elderly aunt. I am going to see me. I am not going to see either Indra Nooyi or a monk.

My loved ones would see me as more virtuous and accomplished than I am and the ones who detest me will see me as much less than what I am  What others see depends largely on their own minds and attention span.

That’s  not important.

What is important  is to accept my genes and my circumstance. And to be, to see and to learn.

The effect of helping others and forgiving them.

June 18, 2015

We can’t  really help others. Not in any lasting way. Whether they ask or we offer.

We can’t  expect  gratitude or recognition or reward. These depend on others.

What we do get is a chance to experience  a very pleasant warm and kindly feeling when we work to help others. This feeling  itself is the reward.

When others hurt us unintentionally  and try hard to never repeat it, we don’t feel angry anyway.

When people hurt us intentionally and are likely to behave the same  way again, we have every reason to avoid them. Who would grasp a thorn?

However, dwelling  on the hurtful situation is not helpful at all. We cannot carry so much negative emotion in our head &  heart for long durations. It is burdensome  and unhealthy.

So we let go of all that emotion while avoiding the painful people. This is forgiveness. We seek no revenge and harbour no ill feelings. I would not stick around to turn the other cheek  or reform people though. 🙂